you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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