Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
