Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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