I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
