I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
