Don't you send me to vm
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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