this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
