Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
