His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
