He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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