there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
