The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
