Where did you get a picture of my penis
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
