i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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