Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
