it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
