You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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