You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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