Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
