Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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