The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
