Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
