I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
