the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
