How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
