Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
