I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
