I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
