TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
