Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
