I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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