We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
