just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
