why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
