her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
