I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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