it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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