why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
