As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
