Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
