This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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