Ambien. No doubt about it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
