She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
