can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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