I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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