how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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