dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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