i will never coherently bang her
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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