You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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