I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
