that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
